My Reflection

     I've seen you before, as I'm sure you've seen me. I know who you are. You're the girl contemplating suicide. The one who gets called a dyke every day. You're insecure and your self-esteem doesn't exist. As much as you try to fit in people still hate you and you long for acceptance. You are terrified of losing everybody you love. You keep secrets. Nobody knows the price you pay to stay so thin. Nobody knows the cost of your love. You should be happy, but nobody knows that you go home in tears every day. Nobody knows that you always cry yourself to sleep. And for the short time that you're able to stay asleep, the nightmares haunt your dreams. You're scared. Life gets harder as the depression worsens. When I look at you I can see it in your eyes. You're not as strong as everybody thinks. You hide it well, but I know that you're wearing yourself out. You're exhausted. But you can't let her down. So you hide yourself and you keep your secrets, knowing that they're killing you.
     I know who you are. I look in the mirror and see your tears. I tell myself to be strong. I whisper through the tears that everything will be fine. I lock my feelings away, knowing that to let them out again would be dangerous. I put on a fake smile.
     "I'm fine. I'm happy. The teasing doesn't bother me. I'm used to it. Really, I'm ok now, I love my life."  These are the lies I tell to get by. To everyone I've lied to, I'm sorry...